3 reasons why your breakup is actually a good thing
Breakups are devastating. There’s no way around it. In my personal opinion, they are one of the most challenging life experiences a human being can go through; you are forced to grieve for a person who has been one of the most important people in your life, has made the choice to no longer be with you, and is still alive and well.
Even if you’re not ready to move on, I want to provide some reasons why your break up is actually a good thing – meaning, eventually you will look back and potentially even feel gratitude that you are going through what you are going through because of the personal transformation that usually occurs post breakup.
1. There’s a reason why this relationship didn’t work out, and letting it go allows space for someone who can appreciate you and all you have to offer to come into your life. Not only am I referring to a future partner, but also the people in your life like friends and family. Breakups tend to highlight the supportive relationships in someone’s life that are already there. Your relationship ending allows you to appreciate the healthier relationships that already exist and do the inner work required to attract a healthier partnership that is a better fit for you.
2. Usually when a relationship is not working out, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to fix the relationship or work on something that the other person wanted or needed us to do. Now that the relationship has ended, you have more time to take care of yourself and figure out what your wants and needs are. Sometimes we completely lose ourselves in relationships, and so the process of a break up is often an opportunity to rediscover ourselves. Now is the time to distract yourself with hobbies, interests, and areas of your life that may have been neglected. Trying new activities, focusing on your self-care habits, starting therapy, and/or re-connecting with people in your life are all excellent ways to fill your time.
3. You now have more time to nurture the other important relationships in your life. Perhaps towards the end of your relationship, you were finding it difficult to devote time to friends and family because you were so stressed and busy working on the relationship. Now is a good time to show up for the people in your life, as they will also most likely want to show up for you while you are going through this difficult time. Go to your niece’s dance recital, attend your neighbor’s fundraiser, or say yes to the fitness class your friend invites you to. Saying yes to the other people in your life fortifies their connection with you and is an easy way to show up for them when you’re feeling down and needing the support yourself (shout out to my Quality Time Love Language Givers!) As they say, 90% of success in life comes from just showing up – and this is especially true in relationships! Being around people right now – especially people you love and care about – is one of the most healing acts you can do while you are grieving your old relationship, and showing up for others is a way that you can reciprocate the support they are giving you.
